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The Best of Eurovision 2011

May 17, 2011

Keeping up the spirit of last Saturday’s Eurovision Song Contest, I’ve put together my top three performances of the night and awarded them the respective points. So just imagine that I am a over-excited TV presenter from some small European country that no one has ever heard of – possibly wearing too much make-up and a very sparkly dress – who is really gonna milk her 10 minutes of inter-European screen time.

1. “Hallo Germany, Guten Abend! Hello Europe! What a wonderful show tonight and congratulations Anke for looking so bezaubernd. If I could, I would give you 12 points!”

(This is where I will smile like a maniac and Anke will look really uncomfortable and nod her head in thanks, then there’ll be an awkward moment where neither of us will say anything…)

“Ok, so….eight points go to….Ireland!” (Jedward really pulled this one out the bag – catchy tune and good shoulder architecture).

2.  “Next up, 10 points for……..(suspense building pause)…………..Moldova!” (I love the comment that Graham Norton made about us not taking it seriously when it was announced that the UK had awarded them eight points . But Moldova’s loony performance was exactly what 90% of Eurovision parties around the country were waiting for. Silly hats and a fairy on a unicycle for the win!)

3.“And the big 12 points goes to………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….GERMANY!

 (So if I was a small European country that no one had ever heard of, I’d be like San Marino except I’d be surrounded by Germany rather than Italy, which would of course make me really biased. But perhaps if the UK sent individual acts from Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and England, we could all vote for each other and´then we could stop moaning when all the ex-USSR give each other all the points.

In all sincerity though, Lena’s ‘Taken By A Stranger’ was the best song of the night (I’m a little bit addicted…). It was quite ‘edgy’ considering the rest of the contest – not that edgy gets you very far in Eurovision…it’s all about sand-paintings or bombastic duets.)

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